Open to Being Amazed

I know nothing. That’s one thing I know for sure.

Today I completed my first week of a four-week retreat in Santa Fe and since I’ve been here, I’ve seen wonders I was never even aware of. I’ve talked about real estate without end, and I’ve been to Wholefoods, and what I know is that I know nothing.

I like to come to this blog with something to share that might help move us both towards enlightenment, or at least a dawning awareness of inner calm. Today what I can share is that this state of unfamiliarity heightens my sense of curiosity. I’m open to being amazed. In my day to day life at home, there aren’t many complete unpredictables. I can be delighted most days - I enjoy time with my steady gal pals and adore my children and our patchwork fam. But, ya know, it’s all pretty familiar.

I know my world, just like you know yours. I’ve always got my to-do list, and I have a general sense of who will populate my days. When I spend time outdoors, as much as I find the woods endlessly fascinating, I pretty much know what to expect. I know the aisles of the grocery store where I am a regular. I know my neighborhood, my city, and my state pretty well. Certainly, I can be surprised, but I am generally familiar with our local politics and the players and issues.

Here in New Mexico, the only thing familiar to me is myself, and the special friendships that have called me back here.

First, it’s sunny every day. Every. Day. I never feel guilty because I’m doing something indoors on a beauty day because literally, tomorrow will be just as nice. I have never actually lived in a place that had count-on-able outdoor weather and I can’t deny it, it’s pretty wonderful. It’s also very, very dry - there hasn’t been rain here since the beginning of October! So, I have to take care of myself in new ways - obviously drinking lots of water, but also, I now know how to moisturize the inside of my nose. There, I said it. I know it’s weird, but when you follow me to New Mexico, you’ll be glad I told you.

Every time I hike here, I find myself looking out over yet another vista and I can literally see for miles upon miles. Today, I looked down to our starting point from high above where we’d started and wondered why we couldn’t see any people, then realized that people would almost be unseeable with my bare naked eyes because they are sooooo far away. I love the spacious feeling inside me when I can see for great distances. There’s a sense of peace that comes over me. I think that there is some brain science at work with that sense of peace. I don’t know, but I’ll bet that my fearful amygdala is calmed by the ability to see what’s coming from far, far away.

As for the wonders, my sweetheart joined me here for my first week and we took a trip four hours south to the