Manifesting Love
I have met the love of my life.
I realize that’s a bold statement. The backstory is that I have been actively manifesting finding the love of my life for the past two years. Manifesting isn’t hoping or wishing something will happen. It’s a system of interacting with the Universe so that you are in alignment with your desires. Here at Perfect Avocado Retreats, we believe in the profound magic of manifestation – the art of aligning our thoughts, energies, feelings, and actions with the life we seek. It's not merely about wishing upon a star, but about cultivating a deep sense of self-awareness, clarity about what you want in life, and openness to receive the life of our wildest dreams.
A little history, I am no stranger to manifesting incredible things. Fifteen years ago when I started my own consulting business I told everyone I knew I was looking to: 1.Work less; 2.Make more money; and 3.Be able to work from anywhere on my own timeframe. At the time everyone told me “everyone wants that”. I agreed but the difference was everyone wasn’t doing the work to align with that future. Within 6 months I had all three things. Another example of my manifesting prowess - I am currently living in the houseboat of my dreams in Amsterdam. The one that all of the real estate experts and relocation specialists told me was not possible.
Manifesting is a practice. It’s not something you can “do” and wait for results. Manifestation is not a passive act; it demands action and engagement with the world around and within us. We have broken the process down to: Ask * Acknowledge * Allow. But before you even begin, you have to BELIEVE.
Believe anything is possible. Enter a land of no limits in your mind. In my case I had to be 100% sure that the man of my dreams was out there. That everything I wanted, every little detail was available in the form of at least one man on this planet, that I could meet him and that he was looking for me too. That might be confronting. You may be told by well meaning friends that you are being “too picky”. As Lily from Date Brazen coaches “Own all your relationship preferences and be powerfully picky” and “You are allowed to want what you want”.
Ask - The first step was to get really clear about what I was looking for. Perfect Avocados, this means every little detail. Every. Little. Detail. All the things! Here are mine as excerpted from my journals over the couple of years. When I review this list and compare them to my man - the love of my life, I get a shiver. Magic.
Blue collar / not an office worker / someone who works with his hands
Intellectually curious
Confident - not intimidated by me
Progressive values
Bald
Blue eyes
Dutch
Financially stable
Open and in touch with his feelings
Always know where I stand/how he feels about me
Makes plans
Takes care of me
Loves me
Likes to travel
Nice style
Sense of adventure
Has kids/good divorce/good dad
Involved in community
Has friends
Makes me feel seen/safe
Optimistic/sees in the good in things
Acknowledge - this is the practice part - cultivating that attitude of gratitude. That means being grateful and also satisfied with my life and myself right now, exactly as it is. For example, I needed to learn to love my body just as it is in the moment. Not loving some future, skinnier version of myself that would attract The Man. Simultaneously, I was loving my life in Amsterdam. I was making new friends and feeling settled in this city and I was grateful for that too. The idea is to be grateful for everything in your life, not just the good things. It’s important to remember and believe that everything is moving you toward what you want to manifest in its own time and according to plan - just perhaps not your time and plan. That meant letting go of snarky thoughts about dates I went on, jealousy of happy couples. The universe is always listening, so reframing those thoughts was key. While I was making friends, and going on dates, I was still lonely, and I cannot say that I ever really found the silver lining in loneliness.
Allow - I won’t sugarcoat it, this is hard. I had to really, really trust that the universe was sending this man to me on the right schedule and when I would be able to receive him. I also had to take action - going on dates, telling people I wanted to be set up, going out with friends to places where I might meet someone in person, going out alone. If I am honest, it was exhausting, and sometimes I felt defeated by the near misses. I realized the importance of allowing divine timing when my love said, on our second date “I should warn you - I fall hard and fast”. A year ago that statement alone would have guaranteed no third date - I would have run screaming from the building!
Who do you have to be? This is the actual work of manifesting in my opinion. Figuring out who you have to be to get the life you want, and then setting out to become that person can require some deep internal work. You have to make time and space for reflection and imagination. Read. Write. Research. Right here, I feel that it’s important to be clear, generally, manifesting should not feel like work, because you know you are in pursuit of your dreams - this “work” should call you forth. You naturally prioritize it, because it’s all for YOU. Here’s what I mean: Two years ago, during our Perfect Avocado retreat in Costa Rica, I started my list of all the qualities and characteristics of the love of my life. During this process, when I told Pam I wanted someone open and in touch with their feelings she asked (in a totally loving way, as only your best friend can) “Why would that man want to be with you?” It was just the gut punch I needed. No, that man would not want to be with me because at the time I was someone that avoided intense emotions at both ends of the spectrum - at all costs. Because of my upbringing, that middling place was my safe place - no fear of being disappointed there. I’ve spent the last two years working on being OK with strong emotions, in others and in myself. Side note: while this is the “work” of manifesting, if something is feeling hard it can be a sign you are forcing something. It’s important to check that you are indeed, allowing.
Everyday these last few months, I have been both grateful and in awe of the universe and the pure power of manifesting. Even now, I am being intentional about allowing this love and not getting into my head. I’m conscious of rejecting the “too good to be true” voices in my head and listening to the “embrace the love” voice of my heart.
I want to help you manifest your dreams! Join one of our upcoming virtual retreats, Manifesting 101, and give yourself four hours to begin your own practice of manifesting. This is not wishing, hoping, and praying. It’s cultivating a practice and being willing to engage your imagination of what’s really possible for you.