Love Songs
If you read this blog on any kind of a regular basis, you know I like to reimagine romantic love songs as self-love songs.
That’s because I believe that romantic love songs always describe how we WANT to be loved. Wholly and completely. Sweetly and tenderly. Always and forever. Mind, body and soul. For better and for worse.
That’s a pretty tall order and admittedly pretty rare. Even the sweetest lover has off days, because they too live in reality. And as we all know, reality bites.
I mean, for better or for worse? Jeez, sometimes I can barely stand myself! I can be so judgy, so abrupt, and…did I already say judgy? How can I expect someone else to love me when I don’t feel loveable? Like, even if they do, if I don’t feel loveable, I can’t actually receive love.
So, while I love to dance to all the good ol romantical songs, and put my head on my sweetheart’s shoulder, and get all lovey dovey - I’m not fooled. We’re in the moment and getting our groove on, but make no mistake, our love is conditional. Meaning, we come back to each other over and over, and recover from our missteps - but ah, we’ve both been divorced so let’s not kid ourselves.
If that’s true, then where can you find that ooey gooey, count-on-able, always and forever kind of love? You know what I’m going to say, right? The person that has always and will always be there - right to the bitter end - YOU.
But, just like any love affair, that takes resolve and practice. To start, try these old standbys:
When you look in the mirror, smile and say I love you. It’s not just a spot check for hair and makeup.
Any reflection you find - give yourself a high five, a la Mel Robbins.
Think about your self-talk and thoughts. Is that really how you want to be treated? Would you talk to your friend that way? Or your kids?
Recently I’ve been listening to John Legend’s All of Me. This song truly describes how I want to be loved and I do get swooney when I listen to it. But, friends, I know that only I can actually provide that kind of love. Why when he says “love all your curves and all your edges” I look in the mirror, naked and sing it. Same with “all your perfect imperfections”. Yeah, that’s me, loving me.
When I feel that way, I am fierce. I am woman, hear me roar! I am the total package. I don’t make decisions out of fear or scarcity. I make decisions from a place of strength and groundedness. I’m more loving, because hell, I’m so incredibly loveable! I feel competent. I feel whole. I feel ready and compassionate. I make decisions that put me first.
I remember when I was a mother of young children, I used to think to myself “when does it get to be about me?” I know the answer now...right now. Put on my own oxygen mask first.
So, here are the lyrics to my favorite love song. See if you can sing this to yourself, without wincing. And if this is music to your ears, or maybe especially if it’s not, then consider joining us for our in person retreat in Costa Rica in June 2022. In the meantime, maybe try the High Five Challenge with Amy and I.
All of Me
What would I do without your smart mouth?
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down
What's going on in that beautiful mind?
I'm on your magical mystery ride
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright
My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh
How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too
The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood
You're my downfall, you're my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues
I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you
My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh
Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts
Risking it all, though it's hard
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, of you
I give you all of me
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Tobias Gad / John Legend
All of Me lyrics © John Legend Publishing, Gad Songs, Atlas Music Publishing Llc Ii