Love Songs

If you read this blog on any kind of a regular basis, you know I like to reimagine romantic love songs as self-love songs.

That’s because I believe that romantic love songs always describe how we WANT to be loved. Wholly and completely. Sweetly and tenderly. Always and forever. Mind, body and soul. For better and for worse.

That’s a pretty tall order and admittedly pretty rare. Even the sweetest lover has off days, because they too live in reality. And as we all know, reality bites.

I mean, for better or for worse? Jeez, sometimes I can barely stand myself! I can be so judgy, so abrupt, and…did I already say judgy? How can I expect someone else to love me when I don’t feel loveable? Like, even if they do, if I don’t feel loveable, I can’t actually receive love.

So, while I love to dance to all the good ol romantical songs, and put my head on my sweetheart’s shoulder, and get all lovey dovey - I’m not fooled. We’re in the moment and getting our groove on, but make no mistake, our love is conditional. Meaning, we come back to each other over and over, and recover from our missteps - but ah, we’ve both been divorced so let’s not kid ourselves.

If that’s true, then where can you find that ooey gooey, count-on-able, always and forever kind of love? You know what I’m going to say, right? The person that has always and will always be there - right to the bitter end - YOU.

But, just like any love affair, that takes resolve and practice. To start, try these old standbys:

• When you look in the mirror, smile and say I love you. It’s not just a spot check for hair and makeup.

• Any reflection you find - give yourself a high five, a la Mel Robbins.

• Think about your self-talk and thoughts. Is that really how you want to be treated? Would you talk to your friend that way? Or your kids?

Recently I’ve been listening to John Legend’s