Resolutions suck, am I right?
It’s the season when I find myself thinking about the coming year and what new habits or goals that I would like to bring into fruition for the year. But I’m not really into resolutions anymore. Years ago, I adjusted my expectations around resolutions - as in, I’m going to floss at least once a week. It’s doable, I should do it, I feel good about doing it, and I probably will. But if I don’t, it’s not like I passed on making a lot more money or forgot to lose 50 pounds.
Last year I adopted the word-for-the-year approach and that suited me perfectly. I made a poster for myself to keep my word(s) in front of me all year. In the summer, I actually saved the poster as my phone screen saver. It was a powerful exercise for me and I’m planning on doing it again this year. My starring word last year, which also had a supporting cast, was Equanimity. What that meant for me was letting go of striving and accepting things as they are. The self I wanted to bring forth would be more comfortable with what it is, but also with what isn’t. That’s applicable for everything from my weight to politics. This is a choice away from constant striving and struggling against the way things are, and accepting what is. This is my way towards happiness as opposed to constant misery.
I had a few supporting words as well, one was Devotion. That one might fool you because what I am referring to is devotion to my relationship. I wanted to be more intentional towards my sweetheart and put our relationship and him first in my decision-making. Just writing that down, brings me back to that intention.
Back to resolutions - I think they kinda suck. We so often wind up losing steam and then lose our will and then feel bad. Nowadays, I prefer an inspirational approach. Like this video Amy sent to me today on choosing a theme for the year, rather than a resolution. Similar to choosing a word for the year, the idea is to go in a direction and be conscious of decision points.
I have enough stress in my life dealing with unvaccinated family members, choosing the right mask, trying to navigate any travel or gathering at all. So, whatever route you choose into 2022, be gentle with yourself. Think about what calls you forth rather than what you’re dissatisfied with, and let that guide you.
One last tip on planning and goal setting for 2022 - my old boss, who was in charge of materials and logistics had a poster on her wall that is great motto for work and life:
My own dear business partner, Amy, perfectly demonstrated this in the planning of her wedding. Amy had 160 guests at her wedding and it was planned down to the gnat’s eyelash - music, favors, seating, dresses, ring-bearers, and their outfits. When the day came, because I had been part of all that planning - I was concerned because the two ring bearers weren’t exactly matching! Quelle horreur! But Amy wasn’t the least bit distressed. She’d done the work and now, she was content to let things unfold.
This is the wisdom that I share with you today. As you consider the coming year, remember that our lives are already full, and full of surprises, so make room for all of that. I like the idea of moving in a direction while allowing for everything to happen, as Tara Brach says.
Maybe for this year, I should consider Unflappable for my word….
If moving in a new direction sounds right for you this year, then join Amy and me and a small band of goddesses in Costa Rica for our first Perfect Avocado retreat in the pandemic times. You won’t regret it.